The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better by Jenny Anderson & Rebecca Winthrop

A groundbreaking analysis of the four modes of learning in middle and high school, revealing the root causes of student stress and apathy-and surprising parenting strategies for kickstarting engagement

Some students advertise their disengagement openly, responding to their parents' questions with familiar refrains like: "We sit in class all day doing nothing," "What's the point of learning algebra if I'm going to be a YouTuber?," and "I told you, I'll get to that paper tomorrow morning." Others seem to be actively participating at school, yet under the surface, are consumed by stress and perfectionism. For the past decade, veteran journalist Jenny Anderson and Brookings Institution senior fellow Rebecca Winthrop have been investigating why so many children lose their love of learning in adolescence. They discovered four modes of learning that shape students' internal narratives about their skills, potential, and identity: • Resisters struggle silently with self-doubt and learned helplessness. They communicate this by refusing to do homework, playing sick, skipping class, or acting out. • Passengers have little curiosity about what they're learning, lacking a clear sense of their intrinsic interests or future post-school. So they coast through the day, meeting minimum requirements with the least possible effort. • Achievers display a mode of engagement that earns praise from parents and teachers. They show up, do the work, and get high grades and accolades. But their achievement obsession erodes their self-worth (and keeps them up late too many nights). • Explorers are driven by internal curiosity, taking time to explore the questions they care about, persisting to achieve their goals, and walking in the world with a confidence not borne from meeting external expectations, but by setting their own. Understanding your child's learning mode is vital for nurturing their ability to become explorers. Anderson and Winthrop outline simple yet counterintuitive parenting strategies for connecting with a withdrawn child, tailoring your listening and communication styles to their needs, igniting their curiosity, and building self-awareness and emotional regulation. Weaving extensive original research with stories of adolescents who dramatically transformed their relationship with learning, this powerful toolkit shows you exactly what to do (and stop doing) to support academic and emotional flourishing.